The Devil's Courtroom
by Wushu
Summary: The Devil's Court is in session, but who is on trial?


Title: The Devil's Courtroom  
Rating: K+  
Series: Evangelion  
Summary: The Devil's Court is in session, but who is on trial?  
Disclaimer: They all belong to Gainax, except the devil, he belongs to himself. Judge Hawthorne belongs to history and death.

**AN:** Yes I know they're OOC. But this idea just seemed like a fun little thing to write. As for the time line imagine it to be sometime after the 17th Angel but before the movies. Additionally I do know there is another story called _The Devil and Misato Katsuragi_, I've read it and enjoyed it. Yes I do know that this idea is not original and that the _Simpson's_ have done it too. I do not speak German, I used a translator so please forgive any errors. Please note that there is nothing serious about this story. **This story is just for fun!!!**

** AN 2:** Yes, this is a rewrite, some things in the first version were a little unclear so I fixed them, I hope. I can only hope that this version makes more sense than before, but do remember, this story is not serious in anyway at all.

AaAaAaA

**Case No. 34661: The Devil vs. Rei Ayanami**

"All rise, the honorable Judge Nathanial Hawthorne presiding," the bailiff called as the robed man entered the courtroom.

"You may be seated," Hawthorne said as he himself took a seat. "What do we have today bailiff?"

"Case no. 34661, the Devil vs. Rei Ayanami. The plaintiff is suing for possession of the defendant's soul. The defendant is counter-suing claiming that the contract is null and void."

"Very well, have all the parties been sworn in?"

"They have your honor," the bailiff replied as he stepped to the side, away from the judge's bench.

"Mr. Scratch," he began as he glanced over the documentation before him, addressing the well dressed man in the red suit. He knew it was cliché for the devil to wear a red suit but he figured that it would fit the part since he was a showman after all. "What are your claim's on the defendant's soul?"

"Your honor," the devil began in a drawling southern accent, "during the events of the 12th Angel when one Pilot Shinji Ikari was swallowed by the Angel, the defendant offered to sell her soul for his safe return. I fulfilled my end of the bargain as is evident by the presence of the aforementioned pilot."

"Is this true Ms. Ayanami?"

"It is," she replied in her normal monotone voice.

"Then I see no point in this countersuit as you did just admit to offering your soul." Hawthorne said as he leaned his elbow on the bench before him. "Unless of course you can prove your claims to your contract with Mr. Scratch being void."

"I can your honor."

There was silence as all waited in anticipation for her evidence.

After several minutes of silence Hawthorne broke it.

"Well then Ms. Ayanami, produce your evidence."

"With all due respect, I would prefer to offer this evidence in private as it is a rather personal subject."

"I see," Hawthorne said as he leaned back in his chair. He paused for a moment to consider his options before he spoke.

"Mr. Scratch, do you oppose to adjourning to my chambers so Ms. Ayanami can present her evidence?"

"No your honor, I do not."

"Very well, there will be a recess until I can view the material from Ms. Ayanami."

With that he clapped his gavel on the bench and rose, Scratch and Ayanami following him to his chambers.

Once the door closed the courtroom broke into murmurs of what she could be showing him. Misato leaned over to Shinji to see if he knew, ever since the 12th Angel he and Ayanami had been growing much closer, some would even call them friends.

"Hey Shinji, since you are the cause of this," she said with a smirk even as she ignored the death glare that the boy had no doubt inherited from his father. "Do you have any idea what evidence she has?"

Shinji just looked at her for a moment, his eyes not betraying any emotion, maybe he spent too much time around Ayanami.

"No Misato, I don't know what evidence she has," he told her. He tried to keep his smirk inside when he saw her draw back and cross her arms over her chest, knowing that Shinji knew but wouldn't tell her.

Shinji did in fact know exactly what she was showing the judge, he had seen it before all this had started. He absently rubbed left hand over his right, his fingers tracing over the small silver band he had taken to wearing on his right ring finger. Misato hadn't noticed it yet, but he had been wearing it since before the 12th Angel, not that anyone aside from Rei had noticed it.

After several more minutes of hushed murmurs, the judge reentered the courtroom, everyone rose as the bailiff directed as Rei and the Devil resumed their places.

"In light on the evidence presented by Ms. Ayanami I have no choice but to find in her favor as the contract with Mr. Scratch is void as her soul is not hers to give away."

At this Gendo could only smirk from where he sat at the front on the courtroom. He knew that she belonged to him, this only proved it.

"This case is dismissed," with that Hawthorne hit his gavel on the bench once again.

"Mr. Scratch are you ready to call your next case?"

"No your honor, I still need a few minutes to gather my evidence."

"Very well, there will be a ten minute break while Mr. Scratch gathers his materials."

As the judge left the courtroom Shinji made his way over to Rei.

"I'm really glad you won Rei," he said as he stood before the blue haired girl.

"As am I Shinji, it wouldn't have been possible without you."

They ended their conversation by smiling at each other before making their way to the gallery to sit and watch the proceedings.

Misato watched the entire exchange with a raised eyebrow.

After the ten minutes was up the judge returned from his chambers.

"All rise," the bailiff recited.

**Case No. 34662: The Devil vs. Shinji Ikari**

As the court was called to order the devil approached the bench.

"Your honor, the case against Mr. Ikari is as such; during his battle with the 13th Angel he offered his soul to me to save the life of one he cared about. As per my part of the agreement I did indeed save the life of Ms. Ayanami thereby fulfilling my portion of the agreement. As such I have claim to his soul, however in light of the documentation provided by Ms. Ayanami we would like to drop our case against Mr. Shinji Ikari on the basis that his soul was not his to sell at the time of our contract."

"Very well Counselor, Bailiff next case."

At this all eyes turned to look at the blushing Ikari. All he did was grin and shrug his ignorance.

Rei leaned over to him and whispered something in his ear; he nodded and whispered back, this too caused much discussion as Rei hardly spoke to anyone.

**Case No. 34663: The Devil vs. Asuka Langley**

Asuka approached the defendant's podium with a smirk. She knew that she would get off just like Shinji and Rei. She would have to; she was after all the Great Asuka Langley Soryu.

"Your honor, I know that Ms. Soryu can not pose an argument against my claim to her soul as her fellow pilots did. Seeing as how she has no extenuating circumstances that would void our contract, my claim based on the fact that she sold her soul to be the best Evangelion Pilot is justified. I would like to point out that no where in our contract did she specify a duration for her perfection."

"Mein Gott! Wie die Hölle können Sie das behaupten, als Sie für einige Monate Sie nur Bastard lieferten?"

"Ms. Soryu, you will watch your tongue or I will find you in contempt of court, a position I can guarantee you do not want to be in." Hawthorne reprimanded as he banged his gavel for silence.

"Your honor, I move that we stop wasting the court's time and that the court grant me her soul as per our agreement." Mr. Scratch said as he stepped toward the bench and handed the bailiff a copy of his contract with Asuka.

After glancing over it for a moment Hawthorne came to a decision.

"This court finds in favor of the plaintiff as there are no other claims to the defendant's soul and that the contract was fulfilled when the defendant became the best Eva pilot. Case dismissed, you may take her away."

"WHAT THE…" Asuka was cut off as she vanished in a puff of smoke. As the smoke cleared Shinji approached Mr. Scratch.

"You're not going to go easy on her are you?" He asked.

"Are you kidding? After all the hell she put you through? Not likely! In fact I have a very special punishment picked out for her," he replied with a wicked grin.

_Meanwhile in Hell…_

"What? Where am I?" Asuka said as her eyesight adjusted to the low lighting of the room she was in. she tried to stand but found that she was strapped to a chair. More confused than before she looked around and could only make out another chair and what looked like a television.

Suddenly the lights grew brighter, blinding her for a moment. Where her vision returned she was looking directly at Kensuke Aida. She knew right away that this would not end well.

"Hey Asuka, how ya doing? Can you believe our luck? We get to spend eternity together playing video games and war games. Look, I even got you some BDUs and an airsoft rifle so we'll match!"

There before her eyes were a pair of olive drab BDUs and an AR15-A2 semi-automatic electronic driven airsoft gun.

Throwing her head back she let out a roar of protest.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

_Back at Court…_

"So you sent her to play war games and video games with Kensuke for eternity?" Shinji asked as he tried hard not to laugh at Asuka's punishment.

"Pretty much, its not really your friend Kensuke though, but just wait until she realizes that all the food was cooked by Major Katsuragi."

"Well," Shinji said through his chuckles, "I guess she did have it coming to her."

"You better believe it."

"You're not mad that you didn't get Rei and I are you?" Shinji asked after sharing a laugh with the devil at Asuka's expense.

"Nah, besides I got Asuka to play with for eternity. Plus we still have one case left and I know for a fact that I'll win. Let me tell you a little secret Shinji, come closer." Shinji leaned toward the prince of evil as he whispered in the young man's ear.

Shinji couldn't help but laugh out loud at what he heard.

"That will be more than fitting punishment for him."

"Yes it is. Well it has been a pleasure talking to you, but I've got another case to win, so if you'll excuse me."

"Of course, don't let me stop you."

With another chuckle Shinji returned to his seat beside Rei who surreptitiously took his hand in hers. Her right hand bearing a ring similar to Shinji's only thinner and more feminine.

"What were you speaking about?" she asked as she passed a glance over at Satan who gave her a little wave and a wink. Shinji merely chuckled and squeezed her hand.

"You'll see Rei."

"This court will now hear the case of the Devil vs. Gendo Ikari," the bailiff announces as Gendo made his way to the podium, glaring at Shinji as he passed him.

**Case No. 34666: The Devil vs. Gendo Ikari**

"Um, shouldn't that be case number 34664?" Misato said to herself.

"Nope," Scratch replied, having heard her question. "He's a very evil man."

"Ok, makes sense to me," Misato said as she sat back in her chair after that clarification, a grin on her face.

"Mr. Scratch, please make your case against Mr. Ikari," Hawthorne said as he once again leaned his elbows on the bench, this time adopting the pose for which Gendo was famous.

"Your honor, I will prove in a small amount of time that even though Mr. Ikari and I do not have a contract, his soul does indeed belong to me."

Picking up a packet of papers he handed them to the bailiff before returning to his own podium.

"I would like to submit into evidence the following documents, which you hold before you your honor. What you hold are plans for a global genocide known as third impact. There are also numerous accounts of assassinations carried out on the orders of Mr. Ikari. Your honor, I could keep going with the various charges that this man faces, but I shan't waste this court's time. I would however like to make the point that even Mr. Adolf Hitler, one of the most reviled men in history, did not plan a global genocide of the _entire_ human race."

"Mr. Ikari, do you have anything to say in your defense?"

"Just that every thing I did was for the betterment of humanity, and it was all approved by SEELE."

At this there was an uproar from the audience.

"Order, order in the court!"

Within moments order was restored and the proceedings resumed.

"Is that all that you wish to say in your defense?"

"It is," Gendo replied with another smirk.

"Very well, this court will take a few minutes to review the documents presented by Mr. Scratch."

With that Hawthorne turned his attention to the papers before him.

Taking a moment to turn behind him Gendo took a step toward Shinji.

"I will see you destroyed and any relationship you may think you have with Rei will end."

Before either could reply Gendo returned to his podium to await the judge's verdict.

"Mr. Ikari," Mr. Scratch said as he approached him. "I would like to thank you for publicly implicating SEELE in this. I would like to assure you that they too, each and every last one of them, will soon join you in the justice that is my, **_DIVINE,_** hell fire."

With a sinister chuckle Mr. Scratch returned to his podium to await the judge's verdict.

After several minutes Hawthorne turned his attention to the devil.

"Are these documents all true?"

"I may be the devil your honor, but I do have some honor. They are all as factual as they can be."

"Interesting."

Setting the papers on the bench, Judge Hawthorne turned to address Gendo.

"Mr. Ikari, after looking over the documents provided to this court I can in no way see how what you attempted to do was for the betterment of humanity. If nothing else it was all for your own personal gain. Even if you had to kill every living soul on the planet to do it, you would stop at nothing to be reunited with your wife. In light of this information, coupled with the fact that you abandoned your only child when he needed you most and then proceeded to drive him to the point of either homicidal or suicidal tendencies. Never in all my long years on the bench, both as a mortal and as a magistrate here in the afterlife, have I seen such a repulsive human being with a blatant disregard for all human life. I can see no other recourse but to find in favor of the plaintiff, Mr. Scratch. Case dismissed." With that Hawthorne rose and left the courtroom, the hearings over for the day.

Gendo stood in shock for a moment as this sunk into his mind, he had been under the delusion he would be able to walk free. Funny how things tend to change between the mind and reality.

"Well Ikari, I guess we'll be spending a lot of time together won't we? Now you must believe me when I say I have a very special eternity planned for you. Very special," Scratch gave Shinji and Rei a significant look as Misato led them from the courtroom only for them to reappear back in Toyko-3 once they passed through the courtroom doors.

Just before leaving the courtroom, Rei turned back around to face Gendo. A small smile made its way to his face as he hoped that she would somehow say something that would free him from his fate. Instead she merely took a step toward him while reaching into her pocket and removing the glasses she had valued for such a long time. Dropping them to the floor she smashed them even further with the heel of her shoe before turning to rejoin Shinji, taking his hand in hers as they left. Never once did either of them look back.

"Now then, shall we begin your eternity?" Scratch said as he clapped Gendo on the shoulder, a smile on his face.

Just like Asuka before, Gendo vanished in a puff of smoke only to reappear in a room with a monitor taking up the entire wall.

"What is this?" he demanded as he stared at the gray wall before him.

"This Ikari is your eternity. You are fated to watch a lifetime of happiness for young Mr. Ikari and Ms. Ayanami."

Just like Asuka he too let out a scream of protest.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

_Back in Tokyo-3…_

"So, now that this is over, why don't you tell me what evidence you gave the judge that saved both you and Shinji?"

"Oh that?" Shinji asked as he reached over to Rei's right hand and removed her ring from her finger. Taking her left hand he placed it on her left ring finger. Rei then copied the action on Shinji and for the first time Misato noticed the matching bands on their fingers.

"It was just a little legal loophole I found several months ago. It's an obscure post-second impact law. It lowered the age of marriage to fifteen with a guardian's written consent."

"What? You … and her … married?"

Shinji just nodded as he watched Misato's mind drive off a cliff. After a moment to digest this she was able to begin to string together letters to form words.

"How?"

"Well, in my case you were so drunk that you had no idea what you were signing. In Rei's case..."

"The commander believed that it was a release form for a school related project. As long as it did not interfere with the scenario he did not care."

"Ironic how screwed his scenario is now, isn't it?" Shinji asked as he grinned at Rei.

"Indeed," she replied.

After absorbing this Misato spit out another word.

"When?"

"Ah yes, that's a good question. Let's see I know it was a few weeks before the twelfth Angel, but I can't be more specific than that." Shinji replied as he began to lead Rei and Misato toward the latter's apartment.

"It was a week before the twelfth," Rei said as they began to walk in a comfortable silence.

"Are you already that sick of me that you're counting the days?" Shinji asked with a small grin.

While Misato knew this was totally out of character for the two teens, she couldn't help but feel that this is how they should be acting, like normal adults. Perhaps this is who they really were and the other personas were merely a mask used to survive.

Her musings were cut short when she noticed the blush on Rei's cheeks and realized that the girl hadn't replied to her husband.

_Man, that's gonna take some getting used to_, she thought as she watched Shinji smirk even bigger.

"That's not it Shinji, I am counting because I was not able to see you at all during that time. I missed your presence."

"Awwww, that's so cute!" Misato cooed as they approached her apartment, having been transported within a few blocks of it.

"So since Asuka isn't with us anymore, I was thinking that Rei could move in with us, if that's ok with you Misato." Shinji said as they climbed the steps to their floor.

"Of course it's ok, but I have only one question; you're not 15 yet so how'd you get married?"

"Actually I am, and so is Rei. My records were falsified by my father to make me fit the profile of the other pilots. He knew I would be able to pilot no matter what due to my mother's soul being in the Eva. As for Rei, well, she was born at the very beginning of the year, January 2nd actually, and since this is now July of 2015…"

"She's fifteen then."

"Yup," Shinji said as he let himself down easily on the couch, Rei snuggling up beside him.

"So there's nothing to worry about a third impact, right?"

"That is correct; when the commander was taken he took Adam with him. There is no possible way to initiate third impact now."

"Wow, I guess we all have a chance to live happily ever after then, don't we?" Misato said as she grabbed a beer and popped the top on the can.

"Yeah, I guess do," Shinji said with a smile before turning to Rei. "I love you Rei."

"I love you as well Shinji."

They then leaned closer and kissed a short but passion filled kiss while in hell Gendo was raging against the straight jacket he was wearing as he attempted to get his arms free to throw something at the wall that showed his doll betraying him with his son.

As for the room's other occupant, he could only laugh as he watched Gendo and munched on the popcorn that sat in his lap.

"This is so much better than television."

**THE END**


End file.
